


Baby Blues

by Xenagogy



Series: Silas Graham-Lecter [3]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternative Time Line, Baby, Beverly is alive, Crying, Daddies, Depression, Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Murder Family, No murder, Post Mpreg, Vignettes, post partum depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenagogy/pseuds/Xenagogy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a baby is an adjustment. For Will Graham it is especially difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Blues

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently moved into a dorm at a huge university, so I am adjusting. I don't have as much time to write, but I missed it so much. I was able to crank this out. 
> 
> This work is a series of vignettes which are not set in chronological order. 
> 
> One day I will write a happy story, today is not that day.

**I.  
**  
The sounds of Silas’ cries echo through the house, ringing in his ears but he cannot bring himself to get out of bed. He feels like the world’s shittiest parent. What type of parent ignores their child? Sure, Hannibal and Abigail can take of it but mothers are hardwired to respond to their baby’s cries. Of course Will is male but he carried Silas inside of himself for 9 months. His body nurtured and sustained the baby. Will is always going to have a special bond with Silas, an attachment that cannot be severed. He is the baby’s mother for all intents and purposes.

Maybe it is because he never had a mother of his own. She left Will with his father when he was a month old; just picked up and split, never looking back. His father did his best, but he had to work hard to put food on the table meaning he wasn’t around a lot. Will did not grow up with a nurturing figure in his life. He has no model to go off of. Of course, he does have pure empathy, but that is a double edged sword. He is afraid he will mess up. He has always resented his mother for leaving him. But maybe now he understands why she did it. 

**II.  
**  
Will Graham is going crazy. He has not left the house since returning from the hospital 3 weeks ago. Hannibal is out doing god knows what and Abigail is around. He realizes it is unfair to shirk his parental responsibilities onto his daughter, it is his baby after all. While she loves Silas, Abigail does deserve her own time. 

Will has been on strict orders to take it easy, his body is still adjusting after giving birth. It is becoming too much though, getting to the point where even he cannot stand himself. Surely it will be alright if he takes Winston and Silas for a walk around the park. 

\--

Who knew how overwhelming a simple walk could be? Will had been able to feed Silas before they left so the baby was content and Winston had always good on walks. Of course, nothing gold can stay. Things soon took a turn for the worst. It was a chain reaction. Winston got distracted by a wild rabbit. He pulled hard on the lead, causing Will to jerk and stumble over the stroller. Silas was disturbed and started wailing. Suddenly it was too much. Will lost control of the stroller, as he tried to reign Winston back in. His body was still recovering and the harsh jerk would surely set back his recovery.

What would Hannibal say? Surely he would blame his husband for being so foolish. It was really stupid, and things could have gone south fast. The thought is always there nagging at him, maybe he lets these things happen on purpose. This should be one of the most happy and exciting times of his life, but really it is awful and scary.

In the end, it becomes too much. It just happens; Will sets himself on the bench to ground himself and the next time he knows he can’t stop the torrent of tears. He must have called Beverly. She is the closest thing he has to a best friend and she is here, sitting next to Will, assuring him it will be okay. 

She claims she won’t tell Hannibal, but Will is sure his husband will eventually find out about this little incident in the park. He is trying so hard to be a good parent to his son, but it is too much to handle. He knows that those around him are just worried, but the worry only adds onto the flurry of emotions.

 

**III.  
**  
The sneeze rings thought the air. It thrusts Will forward from his spot on the couch. The sound startles Hannibal who has been feeding Silas. The older man removes the bottle from his baby’s mouth, getting up to move closer to his husband. Unluckily for Will, this is just yet another unfortunate side effect of giving birth to his son 12 days earlier. The fluctuating hormones have caused a plethora of reactions in the poor man’s body. He has been having cold-like symptoms on and off since giving birth. Unfortunately when he sneezes, it pulls at his stiches which is very painful. 

Hannibal readjusts the baby, setting the bottle down he uses his free hand to comfort his husband. The sneezing continues and Hannibal can only watch sympathetically. As soon as the fit stops, Will struggles to get up, and limps over to the bathroom, slamming the door more harshly than required. The baby begins to grow fussy in Hannibal’s arms. Having been carried by Will for nine months, Silas has a special bond with the younger man and feeds off his emotions. 

“Shhh….he doesn’t mean it. He’s just in a lot of pain,” Hannibal reassures.

A light knock at the door alerts Will of his husbands concern. It takes a moment, but Will eventually opens the door. His eyes swollen red and glassy with unshed tears. 

**IV.  
**  
He feels horrible. Not only is he the world’s worst parent, but he has also become the world’s shittiest husband. Hannibal is so tender with him, not to mention patient. He doesn’t push Will into doing anything he doesn’t want to. It is hard to put into words. Will wants to be intimate with his husband, but the thought abhors him.

Alana has taken Abigail and Silas for the weekend. She enjoys spoiling the two, substituting them for the children she has never had. She is also been aware of Will’s troubles adjusting to the baby and thought it would be good for the pair to reconnect.

Will initiates it, Hannibal is slow and careful but things progress naturally. Suddenly it becomes too much. Hannibal is above him, defined arms bracing himself up enclose Will and he beings to feel trapped.   
Cold fear jolts through his body. He beings to panic. His poor husband is placing delicate kisses on the nape of his neck when he shoves him away. Hannibal tries to hide the hurt look on his face, which only makes Will feel worse.

They spend the night on opposite sides of the bed. They are both fully clothed. It shows how much his husband loves him. He had never slept with clothes on before Silas’ arrival, but Hannibal understands it is part of Will’s adjustment. 

Will can’t explain it. He yearns to feel his husbands touch, to feel safe in his arms, but his mind won’t let him. He didn’t gain a lot carrying his son, only a few pounds left to lose before he is back to his pre-partum weight. At most, his body just looks soft. But he still feels gross. If he could bring himself to reflect upon the issue, he would recognize that it is not his body that turns him off so much, but the thought of getting pregnant again.

**Author's Note:**

> visit me at tumblr: xenagogy.tumblr.com
> 
> Please let me know if there is anything you would like to see in this verse.


End file.
